Co-Ed vs Femme Racing

Activity	Co-Ed	Femme
Transits	Discussions involve sexual innuendos and jokes	Discussions involve careers, kids, home remodeling and cures for menopause
Starts	Everyone yells ‘No Room’ loudly, repeatedly and indiscriminately	Competitors are congratulated for their great start as they roll over you
Tacks & Gybes	You notice you're tacking when you feel the heal of the boat changing	You are prompted by a voice command “Get Ready to Tack/Gybe” ahead of time.
Mark Rounding	Everyone yells ‘No Room’ loudly, repeatedly and indiscriminately	Competitors are congratulated for their rounding as they slip inside of you.
Identifying Marks	You never point at the mark as it will give your competitors who have been sailing around these same marks week after week, year after year, with the coordinates loaded in their GPS an unfair advantage over you.	There is no need since you have been sailing around these marks for years, they are in your GPS and there are guys in chase boats at the mark waiting to watch you round it.
Men	They are on the boat w/you	They are on chase boats watching you
Extra Weight	Beer & Ice do not posses the properties of ‘excess weight’	Home-baked goodies, extra fleece and foul weather gear do not possess the properties of ‘excess weight’
Start Line	Is of proper length	The pin and the wing mark are in the same place
Crew Attire	Crew shirts are men’s shirts and come in 2 sizes, L & XL	Crew shirts are figure flattering and match the crew bikinis.
Pedicures	Huh?? Is that some new, girlie micro-brew?	It’s a known fact that boats sail faster when their crew’s toenails are painted the same color as the spinnaker.
Articulation of Commands	Vague references to what needs to be done are repeated at increasing volumes and punctuated by curses until accomplished.	Clear, concise, complete instructions are explained prior to every maneuver.
Spinnaker	Flown on the hairy edge	Flown on the hairy edge
Sportsmanship	Every means of acquiring an advantage, including intimidation, are employed	Competitors encourage & coach each other during the race
Sunscreen	Everyone knows that men don’t need sunscreen	Liberally applied before, during and after the race.
Aloe	Liberally applied to the guys after the race.	Reserved for the guys after the co-ed races.
Beer	Helps the crew sail better and replaces lost fluids	Makes you gain weight
Synergy	The crew is one with the skipper	The crew is one with the boat
Yelling	Grows hair on your chest replacing what was lost on the head and therefore is a necessity	Makes everyone nervous and is avoided.
Crew	The crew is one with the skipper	The crew is one with the boat
Bruises	Egos	Backsides & Forearms
Camaraderie	You are expected to act an re-act like ‘one of the boys’ though they dream you would do this naked	Respect and support are paramount.
Skipper	Only a man is capable enough to handle this position	There are no men so a woman does it
Cockpit	Only men are strong enough to handle this position	There are no men so a woman does it
Foredeck	Only tall men are strong enough to handle this position	There are no men so a woman does it
Tactician	Only a man is intelligent enough for this position	There are no men so a woman does it
Rail-Meat	Cute chicks in bikinis are great for this position as they help keep the boat flat, show what a manly-man you are and distract you competitors.	There are no men so a woman does it